Top 10 Family History Interview Questions

by | May 5, 2021 | 01 What's New, Elevenses with Lisa, Interviewing | 1 comment

The Top 10 Family History Questions to Ask Your Relatives

Episode 55 Show Notes & Video

Probably the thing I hear most from my viewers and podcast listeners is that they regret not having interviewed their parents, grandparents and other older relatives when they had the chance.

However, it’s never to late to start interviewing relatives about family history. Even if you’re one of the oldest in your family, you have siblings and cousins who have stories to tell.

Every person in your extended family is walking around with a piece of your history in their head. Their memories are unique. No one else knows what they know. And all those memories from all of those relatives piece together like a puzzle to fit into your personal story…and your family’s story…and your kids and your grandkids stories. This means you have a pretty important job to do. You need to capture these stories not just for you, but for all the generations to come.

Use my 10 family history questions to kick off the conversation. Then, move quickly, yet sensitively, into the memories you want to hear about. And memories is the key word here. You want to tap into memories, not just “answers.” That’s why these questions are geared to help your relative go back in time, and provide thoughtful memories while avoiding simply answering yes or no.

These family history questions are also designed to fill in your relative’s backstory, and flush out how it fits into your story. The goal is to open up some new opportunities for learning more about the family’s history.

One important thing to keep in mind is that not everyone has the same energy level and enthusiasm for an interview like this. So don’t try to cover too much in one sitting. With that in mind, we’re going to focus on the top 10 questions that will give you a lot to work with after the interview. You’ll be able to take what you learn and head out for exciting new research that adds color and interest to your family history.

Great questions can uncover great stories, so in the Live YouTube Premiere of Elevenses with Lisa episode 55 I’m going to share with you:
  • my top 10 family history interview questions
  • my Pro Tip for getting an exceptional interview
  • a Bonus Idea that will add value to your family history TODAY.

Now’s the Time to Interview Your Relatives

Probably the thing I hear most from my viewers and podcast listeners is that they regret not having interviewed their parents, grandparents and other older relatives when they had the chance.

However, it’s never to late to start interviewing relatives about family history. Even if you’re one of the oldest in your family, you have siblings and cousins who have stories to tell.

Every person in your extended family is walking around with a piece of your history in their head. Their memories are unique. No one else knows what they know. And all those memories from all of those relatives piece together like a puzzle to fit into your personal story…and your family’s story…and your kids and your grandkids stories. This means you have a pretty important job to do. You need to capture these stories not just for you, but for all the generations to come.

Use my 10 family history questions to kick off the conversation. Then, move quickly, yet sensitively, into the memories you want to hear about. And memories is the key word here. You want to tap into memories, not just “answers.” That’s why these questions are geared to help your relative go back in time, and provide thoughtful memories while avoiding simply answering yes or no.

These family history questions are also designed to fill in your relative’s backstory, and flush out how it fits into your story. The goal is to open up some new opportunities for learning more about the family’s history.

One important thing to keep in mind is that not everyone has the same energy level and enthusiasm for an interview like this. So don’t try to cover too much in one sitting. With that in mind, we’re going to focus on the top 10 questions that will give you a lot to work with after the interview. You’ll be able to take what you learn and head out for exciting new research that adds color and interest to your family history.

Ice Breaker Questions for a Family History Interview

Both of you might be just a little nervous about how the conversation will go. So, just like kicking off a great party, you might need a few good icebreakers.

The first way to break the ice is just let them know how appreciative you are, with something like: “I’m so happy we’re making time for this, and I want to thank you for agreeing to talk with me and share your memories.”  Everyone like to feel appreciated, and you’ve already put that word “memories” out there instead of just “answers.”

Here are a few ice breaker questions you could use. The first two help you reveal how they are feeling about participating in the interview.

Icebreaker Question #1:
Were you surprised that I asked you to sit down for this interview?

Icebreaker Question #2:
Were you looking forward to sitting down for this interview today?

These questions might help uncover any hidden hesitancy on the part of your relative, and help you determine if a little more reassurance is in order. They may have questions about how you are going to use the information they share and where it might be shared. This is your chance to work out the details and make sure you are both on the same page.

Icebreaker Question #3:
Have you done an interview like this before with anyone else in the family?

It’s very possible that you aren’t the first person to interview them. If that’s the case, this is your opportunity to find out who else has been working on family interviews. There may be an opportunity to follow up with the other interviewer and compare findings.

These next two are just for fun:

Icebreaker Question #4:
If you had a whole day with no demands or responsibilities, how would you spend it?

Icebreaker Question #5:
What’s the coolest thing about you in your opinion?

Chances are that the answers to these icebreaker questions may elicit a few laughs getting you both warmed up for a great interview.

It’s totally up to you whether or not your use any or all of these ice breakers. If you have a really great relationship with the person, and you don’t sense any resistance, by all means feel free to jump right into the family history questions.

Pro Tip for an Exceptional Interview

Now before we jump into the 10 family history interview questions, I want to share a Pro Tip with you that will help ensure the interview goes well.

As a genealogy professional speaker, broadcaster and someone who has interviewed hundreds of people, I’ve learned the single most key to a successful interview. If you do this one thing you can’t go wrong, and I can almost guarantee that interviewing your relative will be an incredibly rewarding experience for you both.

So here it is:  Don’t worry about being a great interviewer – be an amazing listener.

Every interview has the potential to be rich, and revealing, but not if you’re not carefully and passionately listening. While you’ll be armed with these 10 questions, only actively listening will reveal where the opportunities are to learn more.

Care more about what you are hearing from your relative than how you are coming off conducting the interview.

If you hear something intriguing, unexpected, or a little tantalizingly vague, stop and inquire about that. Don’t worry about going off script or following the questions exactly. The questions help identify the layers of the onion, but it’s your job to peel off the best pieces. I can’t stress this enough.

I thoroughly prepare for every interview, both family history interviews and interviews I do for the various genealogy shows I produce. But the best and sweetest moments come from something I heard and then asked more about.

Top 10 Family History Questions to Ask Your Relatives

Now that you’ve broken the ice and are focused on actively listening, it’s time to jump into the interview with your relative. 10 questions may not seem like a lot, but these are designed to uncover lots of future opportunities for discovery about your family history. And because you’re going to be actively listening for those intriguing, unexpected, and a little tantalizingly vague comments, you’ll want to reserve plenty of time to dive deeper into them.

Question #1:
Did you know your maternal grandparents?
What do you remember about them most?

Your goal is to get them in “memory mode” and away from yes or no answers. If they struggle initially with remembering, try to help them visualize a time, event or something else tangible and ask for a few details. Often a lack of memory is really a bit of shyness about being “on the spot.” Once they tap into a few specific memories, things will likely start to flow.

Question #2:
Did you know you paternal grandparents? What do you most remember about them?

Question #3:
Who’s the oldest relative you can remember meeting?

The beauty of this question is that it has the potential to reach far back into the family tree. If your relative is in their eighties or nineties, and they met someone when they were a child who was in their nineties, you could potentially gather first-hand information about someone born in the first half of the 19th century!

If no one comes to mind right away, ask them to remember when they were a child, and think about family gatherings and holidays. These were often the times when a rare visit with an elderly relative would likely have occurred.  

Question #4:
Did you have a favorite relative? Who was the relative you most enjoyed seeing?

This is a wonderful tidbit to uncover because it tells you something more about the characteristics they personally value. This interview question is also likely to uncover some fun and entertaining stories.

Question #5:
Who was the funniest person among your relatives?

Like question #4, this question tells you about their sense of humor (what they found funny) as well as some entertaining stories. It also reveals a relative who might be a lot of fun to research further.

Feel free to change “funniest” to any quality or attribute that intrigues you. If you get an enthusiastic response, go ahead and run a few more past them such as:

  • Who was the most serious person in the family?
  • Who was the most unpredictable?
  • Who was the hardest working?
  • Who would be the most likely to give you the shirt off his back?
  • Who was the smartest?

Question #6:
Which relative do you wish you had known better and why?

All of us have relatives we met once or twice but never had an opportunity to really get to know. The nice thing about the answer to this question is that it puts an opportunity in your lap. The person they name would be an ideal person to research further after the interview. Ask about the person in your other interviews with relatives. Do some independent research on them. Pull together what you learn and write a little something up for your relative to include in a thank you card or email. This small effort will further demonstrate your commitment to the family’s history and provide the perfect expression of your gratitude for the interview.

Question #7:
Who was the family historian in the family when you were growing up?

Even if your relative is a lot older than you, and the person they name has passed away, it’s still worth asking. Learn what you can about the person named and then try to get in contact with their descendants. Ask your relative how they knew them, where they lived, and the names of their kids. If you need help finding their living descendants, check out my video How to Find Living Relatives and download the handout (Premium Membership required.)

Question #8:
Remembering back to your childhood, was there a storyteller in your family?

If no one comes to mind initially, ask your relative if they recall hearing stories in the family. Ask, was their “family lore” that everyone was well aware of? You may get a few nuggets of information that could open up new avenues of genealogical research.

Question #9:
What family traditions did you most enjoy?

Family Traditions help bind generations together. Hearing about traditions that may have gone by the wayside can provide clues to the family culture and ethnic heritage. You might even hear about a tradition worth resurrecting.

Question #10:
What haven’t I asked that you’d like to tell me about?

You could also phrase this question as What haven’t I asked you that you were hoping I would? I like both and use them interchangeably. Either way, this interview question is a little insurance policy that there will be no regrets of missed opportunities after the interview is over.

Family History Interview Bonus Idea

Here’s a way to get even more from these 10 questions. Grab a piece of paper (or open a document on your computer), go back and watch this video again and answer these questions yourself. This is your chance to finally write down what you remember.

As the family historian, it’s easy to neglect doing these things for ourselves. Don’t let not telling your own story be yet another regret. Your memories are also an important part of your family’s history. Download the ad-free show Family History Interview Worksheet  (Premium Membership required) in the show notes Resources section. Fill it in and add your stories to your family history today! Then learn more about telling your own story by watching these Premium videos:

Resources

Comments

What are some of your favorite family history related interview questions that you would add to this list? Share yours in the comments below.

FamilySearch Search Strategy Essentials

by | Jul 26, 2021 | 01 What's New, Elevenses with Lisa, FamilySearch | 6 comments

Discover the essential search strategies that every genealogist should be using when searching for records at FamilySearch.org, the popular free genealogy website.  In Elevenses with Lisa episode 64 Lisa Louise Cooke discusses:

  • Wild cards you can use when searching FamilySearch
  • Search strategies to help you get more results
  • Advanced Search strategies 

Episode 64 Show Notes 

FamilySearch.org is a free genealogy records and family tree website. You will need to be logged into your free account in order to search for genealogy records.

In this video and show notes I will outline strategies for searching for people by name in genealogy records. You can then apply these techniques to your genealogy research plan. Knowing what you’re specifically looking for will give you a better chance at success.

Learn more about preparing for genealogy research success by watching and reading 10 Questions to Rate Your Readiness for Genealogy Research Success.

familysearch best search strategies

Elevenses with Lisa episode 64 – Share on Pinterest

Starting Your Search at FamilySearch

  • In the menu go to Search > Records (then use the form).
  • Start with a broad search.
  • Search results ignore the order of first names but will preserve name order if there are two last names.
  • Click the Exact Match box to start narrowing in on specific names and spellings.
  • Even if you are confident that you know exact names and places try variations. For example, add or remove a name and turn on and turn off Exact Match.

Strategies for Searching Names FamilySearch:

  • Add or remove middle names.
  • Try searching for nicknames.
  • Try spelling variations. Use the Alternate Name You can search up to four alternate names at a time. Try clicking the Exact Match box for each alternate name.
example of Alternate Name search at FamilySearch

example of Alternate Name search at FamilySearch

  • Try spelling the name as it would have been spelled in the old country. (Example: Sporan / Sporowski / Sporovsky / Sporowski)
  • Use wildcards to help with search variations.
    Asterisk (*)  replaces zero or more characters.
    Question mark (?) replaces a single character.
  • Use cluster research techniques by searching on relationships.

A few words about searching on relationships: Try searching only with your ancestor’s first name and a known relationship such as a spouse, parent or other relative. In addition to specific people, try searching for a surname associated with the family.

  • Over time the spelling of a last name can change in a family. It’s important, even if you receive initial successful results, to try all variations, including language variations.
  • In the case of women, records will be under the last name they were using at the time the record was created. Therefore, try searching for them using their maiden name and then their married name (or names if they were married multiple times.)
  • Try leaving the last name field blank. This can be particularly effective when searching for female ancestors. This strategy works well in conjunction with entering additional information, such as the names of the spouse or parents.
  • Try just surnames, unique first names, and Other Person

Pro Tip: Use Snagit to easily create a search log

Learn more about Snagit: How to Use Snagit for Genealogy (episode 61)
Get Snagit with our affiliate link and get a discount for a limited time. (thanks or supporting our free content!) 

Have you been using Snagit? Leave a comment

Here’s an example of a search log I created using Snagit. You can add custom text, symbols, highlighting and much more to create exactly the log that works for you. 

Search log created with Snagit

Search log created with Snagit

Here’s how to quickly capture and keep a research log of your FamilySearch searches:

  1. Run your search as usual.
  2. Use Snagit to clip the number of results and the terms searched at the top of the results page. (Set Snagit to “Region” to precisely clip that portion of the screen.)
  3. Continue searching and clipping. When done, go back to the Snagit Editor.
  4. Click Control (Win) or Command (Mac) and click to select each clipping you made in order. You can also select all of your clippings by clicking to select the first clipping and then hold down the shift key on your keyboard and click the last clipping.
  5. Right-click on the selected clipping to access the menu. Click Combine in Template.
  6. In the pop-up Combine in Template box, select a template. I like to use Custom Steps for a research log.
  7. Click the Next
  8. Give your combined image a Title. (You can edit this again later.)
  9. Select the font and canvas color as desired.
  10. The Number Images box will probably be selected. This will place a “step” number in front of each clipping showing the order in which you clipped. You can deselect this box if you don’t want to number your clippings.
  11. Click the Combine
  12. Edit the combined image as desired. You can click to select items to move and resize them. You may need to ensure you’re not in Text mode – click the Arrow at the top of the screen and then you’ll be able to click on items like the numbered steps and move them around. Grab the edges and drag them to crop if needed.
  13. Save your image: File > Save As.

Search Strategy: Events

Try searching on known life events such as:

  • Birth
  • Marriage
  • Residence
  • Death
  • Any

Click the type of life event you want to include in your search. Enter the place and year range.

Life Events Search Tips:

  • Try your search with different events.
  • Try your search with no events.
  • Use the Residence option to find records identifying where a person was living. Some records contain an address or last place of residence. Birthplaces, marriage places, and death places are not the same as residence places.
  • Use the Any Event if you know a date and place for an event other than birth, marriage, death, or residence. For example, a search with an Any event can find dates of military enlistment or immigration.

Search Strategies: Places

  • In the place field try searching at a more or less specific place level. If you searched for a town, try the county, state, district or country.
  • Try using wildcards in place-names. (Enter * to replace zero or more characters. Enter ? to replace one character.)

Search Strategies: Years

  • In the year fields try adding a year before and a year after.
  • In the year fields, try searching with no years first, and then filter the results to narrow your search by year.

 Advanced Search Strategies

  • Include multiple events in your search when you are looking for a record that likely contains all the events.
  • Death records – try searching with both birth and death events.
  • Birth record, include only a birth event, since birth records usually do not contain death information.
  • To search for a child’s birth records, enter the child’s name, then click Parents. Enter the parents’ names. If needed, try variations such as these:
    • Both of the parents’ full names.
    • The father’s full name only.
    • The mother’s full married name only; then her full married name only.
    • The father’s full name with the mother’s first name.
    • The mother’s full maiden name with the father’s first name.
  • To find all of the children in a family, leave the first and last name fields blank.
    Then click Parents and conduct your search using only parents’ names. Try all the variations.

Searching for Marriage Records

To search for a marriage enter the name of one person in the first and last name fields. Click Spouses, and enter the name of the spouse. Try variations: the spouse’s first name and the wife’s maiden name. To limit your search results to marriage records only, click Type, and click the Marriage checkbox.

Search Best Practices

  • Have a specific search goal.
  • Start with a broad search. You do not have to enter information in all search fields. You often can get better results when you leave most blank, and then filter down.
  • FamilySearch doesn’t support Boolean Operators like Google does.
  • Expect records and indexes to contain errors, spelling variations, and estimations.
  • Try your search several times with variations.
  • Even if your ancestors had easy-to-spell names, expect spelling discrepancies. Anderson could be Andersen in some records. Try Anders?n in the Last Names search box.
  • Always look at the image, if possible. It often has more information than the index alone.

Resources

These show notes feature everything we cover in this episode. Premium Members: download this exclusive ad-free show notes cheat sheet PDF.  Not a member yet? Learn more and join the Genealogy Gems and Elevenses with Lisa family here. 

Genealogy Gems Premium Membership

We have a WINNER! Family Tree Magazine Giveaway

by | Dec 3, 2013 | 01 What's New, Collaborate

Congratulations to Amanda, the winner of our Family Tree Magazine Digital Subscription Giveaway!

We did the giveaway to celebrate my article in the December 2013 issue of Family Tree Magazine, co-written with Genealogy Gems Contributing Editor Sunny Morton. The article is all about collaborating on our genealogy research.

family history genealogy blogs are cousin baitI think it’s cool that Amanda’s big on collaboration herself. She blogs about her research at ABT-UNK. (Yes, that’s the name of her blog: it combines two common genealogy abbreviations for “about” and “unknown.”) Amanda points us to a recent post, “a really good example of collaboration via my blog.  The two photos in the post http://www.honeytraveler.com/pharmacy/ were provided by two cousins of different degrees who found me via my blog, and five different people (so far) have been involved in identifying the people in the “Christmas Cousins” picture.  I’ve connected with lots of other kin who found me via my blog (including a distant cousin in Lithuania, who helped me break through a brick wall there), and they have provided a wealth of information and wonderful photographs!”

Congratulations, Amanda, both on winning our giveaway and on your excellent research and blog. Keep it up! And thanks to Family Tree Magazine Editor Diane Haddad for donating the subscription.

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