by Diahan Southard | Sep 6, 2017 | 01 What's New, Beginner, DNA |
“I don’t need DNA testing for family history: my pedigree is full!” I still hear this occasionally. But here’s why everyone doing their family history should take at least one DNA test.
Teenagers (including my own) are always talking about the things that “everyone else has,” a phenomenon that Malcolm Gladwell describes as the “tipping point.” He says that the tipping point is “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point” for change in human behavior. For my kids, it’s everything from the point at which a party becomes fun to doing everything humanly possible to procure a fidget-spinner (if you don’t know what that is, ask the nearest 11-year-old).
In DNA testing for family history in the United States, that tipping point is now. We have reached the point where most genealogists at least have the passing notion that genetics can be useful in genealogy. Most genealogists (I would guess 85%) who attend the lectures I give have already had at least one DNA test completed.
Let’s stop for just one minute and recognize how incredible that is! Not too long ago I was still trying to convince people that this was a good idea and that you didn’t have to dig up your ancestors to do it. But now we have scores of genealogists who have not only tested themselves, but have convinced half their family to test as well!
“I don’t need DNA testing for family history.” Really?
This got me thinking though: who are those people who haven’t tested? And why not? One category of people sans DNA test is those who have full pedigree charts. I have heard many of them say that they don’t see the need to do DNA testing since they have most of their lines “way back.”
To those with the blessing of ancestors who kept better records than mine, I am offering four reasons why you should RSVP anyway to your invitation to DNA test.
1. To create and preserve a unique record. First and foremost, your DNA is a record. Just as you have obtained birth certificates and marriage licenses for your ancestors, your DNA is a unique record. It does represent you and your family in a way that no other record can. It is a document of your genetic history and should be preserved. Further, while you may doubt the ability of your DNA to shed light on your current genealogy, don’t underestimate the contribution it might make in the future.
2. Because you have second cousins. And third cousins, and fourth cousins, etc. Having your DNA tested means you can see a biological connection between you and other relatives that have had tested. For many, the idea of meeting or forming relationships with distant cousins is not appealing. But even if you have no intention of attending DNA family reunions or even in corresponding with these relatives, there is something reassuring about seeing them there on your match list. There is a certain thrill that comes with recognizing the connection between you and someone else. A connection that may not add any new names to your tree, but it helps you feel a deeper connection to your ancestor, and a greater appreciation for your biology.
3. To verify what’s on your tree. Which brings me to the next point. Seeing these cousins on your list can actually help verify the genealogy you have already collected and documented. It helps to reassure you that you have made the right steps along the way, and may help you gain additional resources about your relative through their descendants that you find on your match list. Resources that can help turn that ancestor from a name on a chart to a story and a life worth preserving.
Verifying what’s on your tree brings with it a certain amount of uncertainty, it’s true. In fact, in the process of verifying your tree, you may discover new genetic truths about it. You may find that some who you thought biologically related actually aren’t, and you may discover new biological relatives you didn’t know about. Not everyone is prepared for this, especially if they’re pretty sure they know everything about their ancestry. But increasingly, I’m finding, people do want to know about a second cousin who was adopted out of the family or their grandpa’s secret half-sibling–and these connections may never emerge unless you participate in DNA testing for family history.
Remember, your genealogical pedigree is not the same as your genetic pedigree! Click here to read about different things you may learn from each one.
4. To help someone else build their tree. The last reason to go ahead and have your DNA tested is to help others. If you have been lucky enough to fill in most of the blanks on your tree, you can help others do the same by simply having your DNA tested. Your DNA provides a link to your tree that might be just what someone needs to overcome a brick wall in their family history.
So, if you have been hanging out on the outskirts of DNA testing because you feel like your tree is full enough without it, remember to RSVP to your invitation to be DNA tested, and join the party!
Click here to get started with DNA testing for family history. You’ll learn who to test, why to test, what tests you can take and where to purchase them. You can watch a short video about getting started and see additional resources that will help you get the most out of your testing experience all along the way.
by Lisa Cooke | Feb 18, 2019 | 01 What's New, MyHeritage
Genealogists from all over the world – get ready to have some fun! MyHeritage has just announced the second annual MyHeritage Live! Conference. A brand new location, new speakers, and the hottest topics on all things family history makes this a...
by Lisa Cooke | Nov 9, 2016 | Genealogy Gems Podcast
Episode 197
with Lisa Louise Cooke
This episode celebrates the most recent family history there is: our own. A chat between host and producer Lisa Louise Cook and Gems editor Sunny Morton explores the meaning and memories behind heirlooms hanging in Lisa’s bedroom. They comment on the larger value, for self and others, of recording our own memories in honor of Sunny’s new book, Story of My Life: A Workbook for Preserving Your Legacy.
Also in this episode:
- A spotlight on new marriage records online for the U.S. and around the world.
- Lisa walks a listener through several tips for learning more about her immigrant ancestors (a mother and daughter). Lisa shows how to use today’s technology tools to help with traditional research skills such as locating passenger lists, immigrant society records and naturalization.
- Your DNA Guide Diahan Southard talks about organizing your DNA matches so you can get the most out of them.
- Genealogy Gems Book Club featured author and Victorian lifestyle expert Sarah Chrisman describes what it’s like in her home–which doesn’t use electricity–as the days grow shorter and the darkness comes earlier.
NEW RECORDS ONLINE: Marriage Records
New York City Marriages: a new index to more than 3 million marriage licenses for recent New York City marriages (1950-1995)
Free FamilySearch marriage record collections recently added or updated include:
- Arkansas Church Marriages, 1860-1976
- Nebraska, Box Butte County Marriages, 1887-2015
- Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2013
- Tennessee, County Marriages, 1790-1950
- Washington, County Marriages for 1855-2008
- Washington, Marriage Records, 1854-2013
- California, County Marriages, 1850-1952
- New Zealand, Civil Records Indexes, 1800-1896
- Belgium, Antwerp, Civil Registration, 1588-1913; Belgium, East Flanders, Civil Registration, 1541-1914; Belgium, Liège, Civil Registration, 1621-1914; Belgium, Limburg, Civil Registration, 1798-1906
- Nicaragua Civil Registration, 1809-2013
- Russia, Tatarstan Church Books, 1721-1939
- Argentina, Cordoba, Catholic Church Records, 1557-1974
- Sweden, Gävleborg Church Records, 1616-1908; index 1671-1860
Learn more about marriage record research: Listen to Using Marriage Records in Family History: Episode 24 in Lisa Louise Cooke’s free step-by-step podcast, Genealogy: Family History Made Easy.
BONUS CONTENT for Genealogy Gems App Users: Finding Copies of Images Online with Google on Your Mobile Device
If you’re listening through the Genealogy Gems app, your bonus content for this episode is an exclusive step-by-step tutorial PDF that shows you how to use your mobile device and Google to locate copies of images online. Remember, the Genealogy Gems app is FREE in Google Play and is only $2.99 for Windows, iPhone and iPad users.
MAILBOX: Finding a Female Immigrant Ancestor
Question from Jo: “I have been fortunate to find information about most of my great-grandparents. I have hit a wall with my maternal great grandmother who immigrated from Switzerland to the US in the 1880s when she was 8 years old. I was hoping that by upgrading to International records on Ancestry that I could find the ship and where she and her mother came from. The curious thing for me is that she and her mother traveled solo to the US and went to Cincinnati, Ohio. I’ve been to Cincinnati and have searched there and have found directories with addresses but no profession is listed like other people. I didn’t find any ship records either. Where might you suggest that I look or search to find more information?”
Tips for searching passenger arrival lists:
Consider what ports would have been the most logical point of arrival for an immigrant ancestor based on the time period and the U.S. location in which you find them. Cincinnati, Ohio, was reachable by rail by the 1880s from major ports, as well as by water via the Mississippi River for southern ports, so that doesn’t narrow things down much. According to an Ancestry.com article, more than 80% of immigrants arrived at the Port of New York by the 1890s, so Jo might scrutinize those New York passenger arrival lists for the 1880s again.
Free New York City passenger arrival databases at
Search multiple NYC passenger lists simultaneously at Steve Morse’s One-Step web portal
For “deeper” searching at Ancestry.com or other sites with powerful, flexible search interfaces: do a “nameless search” (without any name) for girls around age 8 for arrivals in particular years. Try additional searches with various combinations of name, place of origin (Switzerland) or “Swiss” in the keyword field, which will bring up that word in the ethnicity or nationality column. That column doesn’t have its own search field in Ancestry.com but it is indexed, so use the keyword field to search it.
Research Swiss immigration to Cincinnati during that time period. Who was coming, why they were coming and where they were coming from? Click here for free tips about researching historical questions such as these.
The Swiss in the United States at Internet Archive
Swiss-American Historical Society and Swiss Center: Genealogy
Tips for researching records of immigrant societies:
In the U.S., the time between an immigrant’s arrival and naturalization is often documented in records of ethnic organizations such as fraternal benefit societies, immigrant aid and colonization societies. These kinds of community groups often existed in cities and towns where specific immigrant groups had a strong presence.
Become an expert Google searcher (for genealogy and everything else you want to find online) with The Genealogist’s Google Toolbox, 2nd edition, by Lisa Louise Cooke. Or click here to get started with basic Google search strategies you can use now.
Tips for researching naturalizations:
Naturalization records from that time period won’t reliably tell you where an ancestor was from. But they’re still worth looking for, especially if census or other records indicated that the person naturalized.
When looking for women’s and children’s naturalization records, remember that during this time period, they automatically became naturalized if their husband or father did, so individual records for married women and minor children won’t exist under their own names. But a woman could apply on her own, too. Click here to read a free article on women’s naturalizations.
Learn more in a free, 3-episode series on immigration and naturalization records: episodes 29-31 in the free, step-by-step Genealogy: Family History Made Easy podcast.
Lisa Louise Cooke uses and recommends RootsMagic family history software. From within RootsMagic, you can search historical records on FamilySearch.org, Findmypast.com and MyHeritage.com. In the works: RootsMagic will be fully integrated with Ancestry.com, too: you’ll be able to sync your RootsMagic trees with your Ancestry.com trees and search records on the site.
Keep your family history research, photos, tree software files, videos and all other computer files safely backed up with Backblaze, the official cloud-based computer backup system for Lisa Louise Cooke’s Genealogy Gems. Learn more at http://www.backblaze.com/Lisa.
INTERVIEW: Sunny Morton on recording your own life stories
Story of My Life
“Some people about writing their life stories like I do about going to the gym. I put off going, but once I do I remember how much I enjoy it?and how much good it does me.” -Sunny
Story of My Life: A Workbook for Preserving Your Legacy available as a writeable PDF ebook or as a full-sized softcover workbook
GENEALOGY GEMS BOOK CLUB: Sarah Chrisman
This Victorian Life
Featured Genealogy Gems Book Club author Sarah Chrisman describes what it’s like when the days get shorter and the darkness comes early?in a house without electricity.
Legacy Tree Genealogists provides expert genealogy research service that works with your research goals, budget and schedule. The Legacy Tree Discovery package offers 3.5 hours of preliminary analysis and research recommendations: a great choice if you’ve hit a brick wall in your research and could use some expert guidance. Click here to learn more.
GENEALOGY GEMS EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Go to www.legacytree.com/genealogygems and use coupon code SAVE100 with your purchase of research services.
MyHeritage.com is the place to make connections with relatives overseas, particularly with those who may still live in your ancestral homeland. Click here to see what MyHeritage can do for you: it’s free to get started.
DNA WITH DIAHAN SOUTHARD
Parents spend a good portion of their parenting time ferreting out the real story from their children. One time when Henry was in Kindergarten he was playing outside with another little boy. I was in and out of the house watching him and checking on other things. Hours later I noticed that his bike had been spray-painted black. When confronted, he claimed he had no idea how such a thing could have happened. Unfortunately, I jumped to conclusions and blamed the other kid (you have to give me credit, at six Henry was such a good boy and had such an angelic face with his blue blue eyes and blonde blonde hair). But as I was on the phone with my husband telling him about the issue I looked over at Henry and I saw it- that guilty look and my stomach sank, recalling the things I had said to the other boy’s mom. “I’ll have to call you back,” I told my husband.
As genealogists, we spend our time trying to ferret out the real story from our ancestors, or at least from the records they left behind, because they’re not sitting in front of us with guilty looks on their faces. We are constantly checking family stories against, say, the information on a census record, then comparing it to the family will, then making sure it all agrees with what’s in the military records. And even if we have total agreement, which isn’t always, more information often comes along, like in the form of DNA testing, and we may find even more apparent discrepancies.
I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal about a reporter, Cameron McWhirter, who talks about finding just that kind of discrepancy between his family lore and his DNA. He even goes so far as to say, “I am descended, at least partially, from liars.” And he makes the point that “many immigrants reinvented themselves when they arrived here (the United States),” which could be a nice way of saying they had a chance to INVENT a new legacy, not just reinvent it. His assessments are certainly interesting, and worth reviewing, to help us see how DNA testing can affect the way we look at family stories and traditional research results.
McWhirter may be the classic modern genealogist, never having set foot inside a courthouse or scanned through microfiche, relying instead entirely, he reports, on internet research. Now before you roll your eyes, just stop for a minute and appreciate how exciting this is. Here is a man who never gave his family history a second thought, yet because of the death of his parents started to tinker around a bit, and then due to the large volume of information online “was quickly pulled into the obsessive world of modern genealogical research.” I say, score one for the genealogy world!
What he found was that while his dad was proudly and solidly a self-proclaimed Scot, the records and DNA revealed his heritage was actually from Ireland and eastern Europe. McWhirter says that his “father hated Notre Dame, but judging by my results he could have been one-quarter to one-half Irish. He spoke dismissively of people from Eastern Europe, but part of his genetic code likely came from that region.”
McWhirter’s evaluation of his genetic report includes only his ethnicity results, which as you can hear, were meaningful to him in the way they flew in the face of his father’s prejudices and assertions of his own identity. But the ethnicity results fall short of the point of testing for most genealogists. He might even more powerfully transform his sense of family identity if he took a look at his match list and saw an actual living cousin, for example, a third cousin perhaps who was also descended from his German great-grandmother, who maybe never mentioned that she was also Jewish.
Connecting with other cousins who also have paper trails to our ancestors serves to provide further confidence that we have put all of the pieces together and honored the right ancestor with a spot on our pedigree chart. It’s like we multiply our own research efforts by finding more people like us?literally?who are descended from the same people and interested in finding them. As long as they’re as diligent in their research as we are, of course.
At a recent conference I met a 5th cousin. Even with a connection that distant it was exciting, and it made we want to look again at our connecting ancestors and pause for just a minute to marvel how my DNA verified my paper trail back to them, and that part of them was around, in me, and in my new cousin. To me, THAT’s a bigger picture I want to see?when the paper trail comes together with the DNA trail and turns into real live cousins, even if they turn out to be a little different than the stories and sense of identity that were handed to us when we were young.
Maybe you’re something like Cameron McWhirter: you’ve taken a DNA test, been intrigued (or disappointed) by the ethnicity results, but haven’t yet fully explored all your matches on your list. 
I’m telling you, you may be seriously missing some opportunities. If that’s you, I may actually have written my new DNA quick guide just for you. It’s called “Next Steps: Working with Your Autosomal DNA Matches.” This guide will teach you how to leverage the power of known relatives who have tested. You’ll get an intro to chromosome browsers and their role in the search process, and access to a free bonus template for evaluating the genealogical relationship of a match in relationship to the predicted genetic relationship. This guide also gives you a methodology for converting UNknown relatives on your match list into known relatives, which is what we’re going for here.
So check it out, either as a solo purchase or as part of my Advanced DNA bundle.
*Update: The Next Steps guide has been replaced with Breaking Down Brick Walls with DNA.
PROFILE AMERICA: Lights Out
PRODUCTION CREDITS
Lisa Louise Cooke, Host and Producer
Sunny Morton, Editor
Amie Tennant, Content Contributor
Vienna Thomas, Audio Editor
Lacey Cooke, Additional Production Support
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by Lisa Cooke | Feb 27, 2017 | 01 What's New, DNA, Health History |
Exploring our family health history is just another reason to look forward to the future of DNA testing. As science advances and we find out more regarding the specific genetic code responsible for various nefarious outcomes in our health, we learn there is more in play than just our genetics.
I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal about a family who has been plagued with sudden deaths, ten in recent generations. Without warning, their hearts were stopping and no one knew why. That is until Daniel Wiggins died suddenly at the age of 29 and his family sought out a molecular autopsy. Becoming more accessible to researchers as the cost of running these tests drop, molecular autopsies allow a scientific team to analyze the DNA of the deceased, looking for genetic clues to the cause of death. In this case, the genetic sleuthing was able to turn up the perpetrator: a mutation that alters the electrical signals in the heart, causing it to stop. [Read more about this here.]
While this case was clear-cut and the gene was acting seemingly alone without an accomplice, researchers of this disorder say it only happens in 20% of cases. Which means, this devious genetic criminal has other methods we still haven’t tracked.
But for Daniel’s family, they can pursue genetic testing to determine if this specific culprit is lurking in their own genes. If found, they can take precautionary measures, like having a defibrillator installed.
Doing Our Part
Similarly, a family from Pennsylvania used their family reunion as a format for gathering family history and genetic information in order to arm its members with an action plan against a plague of cancer that is sweeping through their family. [See an article on this family here.]
Several members of the Shaffer-Peterson family have discovered a genetic test can alert them to possible pancreatic or skin cancer. Again, a gene affecting a very small number of melanoma patients was identified as the perpetrator of the Shaffer-Peterson family and has been given a 67% crime rate. This means that the chance of developing cancer if you have this particular gene is elevated by 67%.
Thankfully, melanoma is a particularly curable kind of cancer when caught early. This family has done their part in informing the family as a whole. And, they now have a sort of insurance plan that may protect the lives of their loved ones.
For both the Shaffer-Petersons and the family of Daniel Wiggins, genetic tests produce actionable results to those testing positive. There is something they can do to positively impact their health once they are aware of the presence or absence of these genes in themselves.
Environment or DNA?
Not all diseases or conditions can be attributed to our DNA. This past fall, after talking with my mother about kids and schedules, she added almost in passing, “Oh, by the way, they found another spot on my back, I am going to have it removed next week.” This is the third melanoma spot she has had removed in the past 5 years.
While my mom’s melanoma is less likely to be the result of a genetic abnormality and more likely linked to spending hours lifeguarding at the local pool, the fact she had melanoma was the sole reason I went to the dermatologist. My spot wasn’t cancer. I was just getting older. But, I am glad I went and I feel like knowing my health history has made me more aware of the measures I can take to improve it.
Tracking Your Family Health History
Diahan offers Genealogy Gems fans a discount on access to her series of videos on understanding DNA testing for genealogy. Click here to learn more.
For most people, molecular autopsies and DNA health tests are not easily available. Not yet. For those that are, there are hundreds of questions surrounding the kinds of genetic tests and the implications for both health and legal issues.
One thing is certain. In these cases, the common thread is family history. We need to know not only the dates and places of our ancestors lives and deaths, but also the stories behind them. Whenever possible, we need to track our health history, so we can identify any trends that our DNA might be trying to tell us.
If you want to start tracking your own health history there are plenty of free and subscription online tools to get you started. In particular, TapGenes was the winner of the 2016 Innovator Showdown at RootsTech. This online and app tool is designed specifically for your family health management.
You can also create your own alternate family tree. In this unique way, you can visually look at age-at-death, diseases, or other factors pertaining to your health. Read our article titled, “How and Why to Create an Alternate Family Tree.”
Learn More About Genetics and Genealogy
This special bundle features the 3 new advanced DNA guides by Diahan Southard!
Digital download also available.
Gedmatch: A Next Step for Your Autosomal DNA Test
Gedmatch is a third‐party tool for use by genetic genealogists seeking to advance their knowledge of their autosomal DNA test. This guide will navigate through the myriad of options and point out only the best tools for your genetic genealogy research.
Organzing Your DNA Matches
With over 2.5 million people in the possession of a DNA test, and most with match lists in the thousands, many are wondering how to keep track of all this data and apply it to their family history. This guide provides the foundation for managing DNA matches and correspondence, and for working with forms, spreadsheets, and 3rd party tools.
Next Steps: Working With Your Autosomal DNA Matches
This guide outlines what to do next to maximize the power of DNA testing in genealogy. With this guide in hand, genealogists will be prepared to take their DNA testing experience to the next level and make new discoveries about their ancestors and heritage.
by Lisa Cooke | May 5, 2021 | 01 What's New, Elevenses with Lisa, Interviewing |
The Top 10 Family History Questions to Ask Your Relatives
Episode 55 Show Notes & Video
Probably the thing I hear most from my viewers and podcast listeners is that they regret not having interviewed their parents, grandparents and other older relatives when they had the chance.
However, it’s never to late to start interviewing relatives about family history. Even if you’re one of the oldest in your family, you have siblings and cousins who have stories to tell.
Every person in your extended family is walking around with a piece of your history in their head. Their memories are unique. No one else knows what they know. And all those memories from all of those relatives piece together like a puzzle to fit into your personal story…and your family’s story…and your kids and your grandkids stories. This means you have a pretty important job to do. You need to capture these stories not just for you, but for all the generations to come.
Use my 10 family history questions to kick off the conversation. Then, move quickly, yet sensitively, into the memories you want to hear about. And memories is the key word here. You want to tap into memories, not just “answers.” That’s why these questions are geared to help your relative go back in time, and provide thoughtful memories while avoiding simply answering yes or no.
These family history questions are also designed to fill in your relative’s backstory, and flush out how it fits into your story. The goal is to open up some new opportunities for learning more about the family’s history.
One important thing to keep in mind is that not everyone has the same energy level and enthusiasm for an interview like this. So don’t try to cover too much in one sitting. With that in mind, we’re going to focus on the top 10 questions that will give you a lot to work with after the interview. You’ll be able to take what you learn and head out for exciting new research that adds color and interest to your family history.
Great questions can uncover great stories, so in the Live YouTube Premiere of Elevenses with Lisa episode 55 I’m going to share with you:
- my top 10 family history interview questions
- my Pro Tip for getting an exceptional interview
- a Bonus Idea that will add value to your family history TODAY.
Now’s the Time to Interview Your Relatives
Probably the thing I hear most from my viewers and podcast listeners is that they regret not having interviewed their parents, grandparents and other older relatives when they had the chance.
However, it’s never to late to start interviewing relatives about family history. Even if you’re one of the oldest in your family, you have siblings and cousins who have stories to tell.
Every person in your extended family is walking around with a piece of your history in their head. Their memories are unique. No one else knows what they know. And all those memories from all of those relatives piece together like a puzzle to fit into your personal story…and your family’s story…and your kids and your grandkids stories. This means you have a pretty important job to do. You need to capture these stories not just for you, but for all the generations to come.
Use my 10 family history questions to kick off the conversation. Then, move quickly, yet sensitively, into the memories you want to hear about. And memories is the key word here. You want to tap into memories, not just “answers.” That’s why these questions are geared to help your relative go back in time, and provide thoughtful memories while avoiding simply answering yes or no.
These family history questions are also designed to fill in your relative’s backstory, and flush out how it fits into your story. The goal is to open up some new opportunities for learning more about the family’s history.
One important thing to keep in mind is that not everyone has the same energy level and enthusiasm for an interview like this. So don’t try to cover too much in one sitting. With that in mind, we’re going to focus on the top 10 questions that will give you a lot to work with after the interview. You’ll be able to take what you learn and head out for exciting new research that adds color and interest to your family history.
Ice Breaker Questions for a Family History Interview
Both of you might be just a little nervous about how the conversation will go. So, just like kicking off a great party, you might need a few good icebreakers.
The first way to break the ice is just let them know how appreciative you are, with something like: “I’m so happy we’re making time for this, and I want to thank you for agreeing to talk with me and share your memories.” Everyone like to feel appreciated, and you’ve already put that word “memories” out there instead of just “answers.”
Here are a few ice breaker questions you could use. The first two help you reveal how they are feeling about participating in the interview.
Icebreaker Question #1:
Were you surprised that I asked you to sit down for this interview?
Icebreaker Question #2:
Were you looking forward to sitting down for this interview today?
These questions might help uncover any hidden hesitancy on the part of your relative, and help you determine if a little more reassurance is in order. They may have questions about how you are going to use the information they share and where it might be shared. This is your chance to work out the details and make sure you are both on the same page.
Icebreaker Question #3:
Have you done an interview like this before with anyone else in the family?
It’s very possible that you aren’t the first person to interview them. If that’s the case, this is your opportunity to find out who else has been working on family interviews. There may be an opportunity to follow up with the other interviewer and compare findings.
These next two are just for fun:
Icebreaker Question #4:
If you had a whole day with no demands or responsibilities, how would you spend it?
Icebreaker Question #5:
What’s the coolest thing about you in your opinion?
Chances are that the answers to these icebreaker questions may elicit a few laughs getting you both warmed up for a great interview.
It’s totally up to you whether or not your use any or all of these ice breakers. If you have a really great relationship with the person, and you don’t sense any resistance, by all means feel free to jump right into the family history questions.
Pro Tip for an Exceptional Interview
Now before we jump into the 10 family history interview questions, I want to share a Pro Tip with you that will help ensure the interview goes well.
As a genealogy professional speaker, broadcaster and someone who has interviewed hundreds of people, I’ve learned the single most key to a successful interview. If you do this one thing you can’t go wrong, and I can almost guarantee that interviewing your relative will be an incredibly rewarding experience for you both.
So here it is: Don’t worry about being a great interviewer – be an amazing listener.
Every interview has the potential to be rich, and revealing, but not if you’re not carefully and passionately listening. While you’ll be armed with these 10 questions, only actively listening will reveal where the opportunities are to learn more.
Care more about what you are hearing from your relative than how you are coming off conducting the interview.
If you hear something intriguing, unexpected, or a little tantalizingly vague, stop and inquire about that. Don’t worry about going off script or following the questions exactly. The questions help identify the layers of the onion, but it’s your job to peel off the best pieces. I can’t stress this enough.
I thoroughly prepare for every interview, both family history interviews and interviews I do for the various genealogy shows I produce. But the best and sweetest moments come from something I heard and then asked more about.
Top 10 Family History Questions to Ask Your Relatives
Now that you’ve broken the ice and are focused on actively listening, it’s time to jump into the interview with your relative. 10 questions may not seem like a lot, but these are designed to uncover lots of future opportunities for discovery about your family history. And because you’re going to be actively listening for those intriguing, unexpected, and a little tantalizingly vague comments, you’ll want to reserve plenty of time to dive deeper into them.
Question #1:
Did you know your maternal grandparents?
What do you remember about them most?
Your goal is to get them in “memory mode” and away from yes or no answers. If they struggle initially with remembering, try to help them visualize a time, event or something else tangible and ask for a few details. Often a lack of memory is really a bit of shyness about being “on the spot.” Once they tap into a few specific memories, things will likely start to flow.
Question #2:
Did you know you paternal grandparents? What do you most remember about them?
Question #3:
Who’s the oldest relative you can remember meeting?
The beauty of this question is that it has the potential to reach far back into the family tree. If your relative is in their eighties or nineties, and they met someone when they were a child who was in their nineties, you could potentially gather first-hand information about someone born in the first half of the 19th century!
If no one comes to mind right away, ask them to remember when they were a child, and think about family gatherings and holidays. These were often the times when a rare visit with an elderly relative would likely have occurred.
Question #4:
Did you have a favorite relative? Who was the relative you most enjoyed seeing?
This is a wonderful tidbit to uncover because it tells you something more about the characteristics they personally value. This interview question is also likely to uncover some fun and entertaining stories.
Question #5:
Who was the funniest person among your relatives?
Like question #4, this question tells you about their sense of humor (what they found funny) as well as some entertaining stories. It also reveals a relative who might be a lot of fun to research further.
Feel free to change “funniest” to any quality or attribute that intrigues you. If you get an enthusiastic response, go ahead and run a few more past them such as:
- Who was the most serious person in the family?
- Who was the most unpredictable?
- Who was the hardest working?
- Who would be the most likely to give you the shirt off his back?
- Who was the smartest?
Question #6:
Which relative do you wish you had known better and why?
All of us have relatives we met once or twice but never had an opportunity to really get to know. The nice thing about the answer to this question is that it puts an opportunity in your lap. The person they name would be an ideal person to research further after the interview. Ask about the person in your other interviews with relatives. Do some independent research on them. Pull together what you learn and write a little something up for your relative to include in a thank you card or email. This small effort will further demonstrate your commitment to the family’s history and provide the perfect expression of your gratitude for the interview.
Question #7:
Who was the family historian in the family when you were growing up?
Even if your relative is a lot older than you, and the person they name has passed away, it’s still worth asking. Learn what you can about the person named and then try to get in contact with their descendants. Ask your relative how they knew them, where they lived, and the names of their kids. If you need help finding their living descendants, check out my video How to Find Living Relatives and download the handout (Premium Membership required.)
Question #8:
Remembering back to your childhood, was there a storyteller in your family?
If no one comes to mind initially, ask your relative if they recall hearing stories in the family. Ask, was their “family lore” that everyone was well aware of? You may get a few nuggets of information that could open up new avenues of genealogical research.
Question #9:
What family traditions did you most enjoy?
Family Traditions help bind generations together. Hearing about traditions that may have gone by the wayside can provide clues to the family culture and ethnic heritage. You might even hear about a tradition worth resurrecting.
Question #10:
What haven’t I asked that you’d like to tell me about?
You could also phrase this question as What haven’t I asked you that you were hoping I would? I like both and use them interchangeably. Either way, this interview question is a little insurance policy that there will be no regrets of missed opportunities after the interview is over.
Family History Interview Bonus Idea
Here’s a way to get even more from these 10 questions. Grab a piece of paper (or open a document on your computer), go back and watch this video again and answer these questions yourself. This is your chance to finally write down what you remember.
As the family historian, it’s easy to neglect doing these things for ourselves. Don’t let not telling your own story be yet another regret. Your memories are also an important part of your family’s history. Download the ad-free show Family History Interview Worksheet (Premium Membership required) in the show notes Resources section. Fill it in and add your stories to your family history today! Then learn more about telling your own story by watching these Premium videos:
Resources
Comments
What are some of your favorite family history related interview questions that you would add to this list? Share yours in the comments below.
